Got A Challenge? FRAME It!
As humans on our life journeys, we experience life through our senses. Challenges and hardships can impact these experiences and influence our perceptions and responses. We may struggle to cope with the emotions and feelings that arise from what has happened, especially if we feel that we have been harmed by others or unfairly treated.
I was frustrated many times when I felt undermined, dismissed, or not taken seriously because I was an unfamiliar entity: a highly educated, hyper-functioning professional female with brown skin. This led me to internalize a lot of what would happen to me, blaming myself for not being someone else, for not being recognized for exceptional work, or for not being offered specific opportunities. It led to impostor syndrome, making me feel I didn't deserve what others had, as they didn't validate me despite benefiting from my talents, skills, and gifted mind. No one cared about me, I felt. But so what? They didn't have to care about me. I had to care about myself. I learned from family friend Dr. Roberta Horton that regardless of who you are, each person is living their own life and dealing with their problems, so the last thing they need is yours.
So what could I do? Was there a tool I could use to help myself get through challenges more efficiently? How can I help others avoid years of ambiguity, enabling them to address and overcome obstacles more quickly and not waste precious time? People could remain confident and spend more time focused on achieving their goals, rather than being distracted or seeking validation. Challenges will always arise, and I created FRAME to support success.
Apply FRAME as an approach to help you address challenges, whether you are a student, athlete, or professional working to achieve success.
Here is how to apply it:
FORGIVE yourself for the feelings or emotions of doubt, shame, and guilt fueled by outside energy, judgment, or your mistakes.
You have to deal with your feelings if you are going to get past any challenge or negative situation. Fear and shame may make you feel like you want to escape, hide, run, or avoid. You are only human and may have made a mistake or fallen short; it is no excuse, just reality. You may be embarrassed, hurt, mad, defeated, scared, or tired. One act starts to move you forward - self-forgiveness. You are the only one who can give yourself permission to be human and begin the process of moving on. Forgive yourself to deal with your emotions so it doesn't lead to unhealthy coping decisions of substance abuse and addiction as a way not to feel.
RELEASE the load of those feelings and judgements.
Let it go, offload the burdening weight that has you stuck in one place, release the stress and tension it is causing. Let the pressure bottle open to physically and mentally heal and avoid disease. Or this heavy wait will lead to mental illness and unhealthy coping decisions.
ACCOUNTABILITY. Take responsibility for yourself, value your life, do not victimize, no one owes you anything, and there is no one to keep blaming.
MOVE forward on life's journey. Keep working to move your energy forward to change your trajectory.
EVOLVE from the experience to achieve success. The psychological pressure from the situation forged either coal or diamonds. You decide next how to utilize its value to either fuel a goal or contribute your worth.
